She came through the long surgeries just fine. We will know in a week or so if they got all the cancer, but they are hopeful.
And she has 9 grandchildren.
Her daughters plan to take her out of state to a quiet place to recuperate.
Thank you for all the prayers and thoughts for this family.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
My Sister In Law's valiant struggle
My Sister-in-law Ann will be 52 on Feb 28, and I on March 24. On Monday, she is scheduled to have a double mastectomy for her breast cancer. I know this must be very frightening for her as her mother had a mastectomy about the same age, and died at 58 years of age.
Ann and I went to the same elementary school in the 4th grade. We were friends, and I always treasure her sweet ways and kind heart.
My husband has gone to SC to be with his sister at this time as both of their parents have passed on now, and their stepmother is in the end stages of brain cancer. Please keep them all in your prayers. Ann is the mother of 4 children and a grandmother of 3.
Ann and I went to the same elementary school in the 4th grade. We were friends, and I always treasure her sweet ways and kind heart.
My husband has gone to SC to be with his sister at this time as both of their parents have passed on now, and their stepmother is in the end stages of brain cancer. Please keep them all in your prayers. Ann is the mother of 4 children and a grandmother of 3.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Legend of the Refrigerator
Well, today is Friday, and my fridge is gleaming except for the very bottom of it. I bent down to scrub it and only got one swish in as my knees, hips and back popped loudly and excrutiating pain shot through me. Cleaner is still soaking in there so maybe my husband will scrub that one part out when he comes home.
It took a week, but I am proud of it!
It took a week, but I am proud of it!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Power of 15 Minutes
One thing the Fly Lady system is big on is teaching you the power of 15 minutes. You set a timer for 15 minutes and accomplish what you can in that time on a focused goal. This is really a great concept for me, and one I heard before on my invisible disabilities support list. After 15 minutes or so, my knees or hands or back or something usually give out on me.
The other thing she tries to teach you is the power of baby steps. To break every thing down into baby steps and take one step at a time. This is a hard one for the Perfectionist brat who I am convinced lives inside every woman. We want to start something and finish it all in one fell swoop! Consequently, Perfectionist's sister Procrastinator rears her head and tells us if we cannot finish a task today, then why start it? So we put it off, becoming more and more anxious/depressed and fretful as the undone task keeps growing before our eyes.
When you have little ones, sometimes all you can grab are 15 minutes at any one time!
Today I set my timer for 15 minutes, donned my lovely new gloves that Andrea and Vivian sent me for my birthday and tackled the top shelf and top door compartment of my refrigerator. I have been doing a good job of keeping the outside shiny, but as soon as I opened it, I would be depressed at the sight that greeted me. The thought of cleaning the whole thing at once was enough to tire me out just thinking about it.
I resolved today to do what I could in 15 minutes, and then make myself stop. Consequently, now I smile when I open the refrigerator because I also had time to wipe down the entire outer rim of the inside compartment in addition to cleaning the top shelf, top *ceiling*, and top door compartment. I know another 15 minutes from now very soon I will have 2 more clean shleves and in another 15 minutes, a clean drawer, and in still another 15 a second clean drawer, while also cleaning the shelves in the door one at a time each 15 minutes. So with 45 more minutes of work broken down into 15 minute segments, I will soon have my gleaming refrigerator.
My gloves the girls sent me are so adorable with little pink bows and a ruffled trim! They are almost too pretty to use, but Andrea has been teaching me the power of blessing myself and using my pretty things, not saving them for a day that may never come. How many ladies have you heard of, perhaps your own mothers or grandmothers, who died with entire sets of handkerchiefs, nightgowns, sheets, towels, dishes, decorative soaps, what have you, all stored away brand new and never touched, waiting for that elusive day to be used and enjoyed?
That is a concept my generation got from our mothers and grandmothers because they survived the World Wars and the Great Depression. When decluttering my kitchen, it was hard to throw out the butter bowls and whipped topping bowls. Of course, the greener me should have saved those and stopped buying nice plastic containers with lids. So maybe Granny has something to teach us younger folks after all. :-) I am old enough to remember the junk drawer at home filled to the max with rubber bands from newspapers and bread twist ties.
Of course, now we have zippy bags and it is hard to find bread with twist ties. Now they put those little plastic tabbies on it, which I despise as no one ever puts them back on around here. They either tie a knot in the bag, making it more complicated to open later without ripping it, or they just leave the bag open for the bread to go stale.
Anyway, love yourself today and use something special you may be saving for that elusive someday. Tackle a big job in 15 minutes, only doing as much as you can during that 15 minutes. Then treat yourself to a cup of a special tea or coffee blend in your prettiest mug or cup. go on! You deserve it!
The other thing she tries to teach you is the power of baby steps. To break every thing down into baby steps and take one step at a time. This is a hard one for the Perfectionist brat who I am convinced lives inside every woman. We want to start something and finish it all in one fell swoop! Consequently, Perfectionist's sister Procrastinator rears her head and tells us if we cannot finish a task today, then why start it? So we put it off, becoming more and more anxious/depressed and fretful as the undone task keeps growing before our eyes.
When you have little ones, sometimes all you can grab are 15 minutes at any one time!
Today I set my timer for 15 minutes, donned my lovely new gloves that Andrea and Vivian sent me for my birthday and tackled the top shelf and top door compartment of my refrigerator. I have been doing a good job of keeping the outside shiny, but as soon as I opened it, I would be depressed at the sight that greeted me. The thought of cleaning the whole thing at once was enough to tire me out just thinking about it.
I resolved today to do what I could in 15 minutes, and then make myself stop. Consequently, now I smile when I open the refrigerator because I also had time to wipe down the entire outer rim of the inside compartment in addition to cleaning the top shelf, top *ceiling*, and top door compartment. I know another 15 minutes from now very soon I will have 2 more clean shleves and in another 15 minutes, a clean drawer, and in still another 15 a second clean drawer, while also cleaning the shelves in the door one at a time each 15 minutes. So with 45 more minutes of work broken down into 15 minute segments, I will soon have my gleaming refrigerator.
My gloves the girls sent me are so adorable with little pink bows and a ruffled trim! They are almost too pretty to use, but Andrea has been teaching me the power of blessing myself and using my pretty things, not saving them for a day that may never come. How many ladies have you heard of, perhaps your own mothers or grandmothers, who died with entire sets of handkerchiefs, nightgowns, sheets, towels, dishes, decorative soaps, what have you, all stored away brand new and never touched, waiting for that elusive day to be used and enjoyed?
That is a concept my generation got from our mothers and grandmothers because they survived the World Wars and the Great Depression. When decluttering my kitchen, it was hard to throw out the butter bowls and whipped topping bowls. Of course, the greener me should have saved those and stopped buying nice plastic containers with lids. So maybe Granny has something to teach us younger folks after all. :-) I am old enough to remember the junk drawer at home filled to the max with rubber bands from newspapers and bread twist ties.
Of course, now we have zippy bags and it is hard to find bread with twist ties. Now they put those little plastic tabbies on it, which I despise as no one ever puts them back on around here. They either tie a knot in the bag, making it more complicated to open later without ripping it, or they just leave the bag open for the bread to go stale.
Anyway, love yourself today and use something special you may be saving for that elusive someday. Tackle a big job in 15 minutes, only doing as much as you can during that 15 minutes. Then treat yourself to a cup of a special tea or coffee blend in your prettiest mug or cup. go on! You deserve it!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
I guess it is the elementary school teacher in me, but I adore holidays...all of them! When we homeschooled, each child got an age-appropriate monthly booklet of activities. February, for the shortest month, was so jam packed...Groundhog Day, usually Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday, Valentine's Day, President's Day, Black History month, Dental Hygiene Month, Heart Awareness Month, and some others I am sure I am forgetting. I had rented a copy machine that stood in the kitchen. I ran off those booklets and put them together with such joy, using teacher resources I had collected over the years.
One wall held a giant bulletin board from when the church school downsized and had leftovers. I still remember the year Andrea made that bulletin board an undersea world. She made it an aquarium, complete with a taped tour describing the many "creatures" we saw.
I made sure Daddy remembered to stop and get Valentine candy for each of his valentines and bring it home. We made pretty cards for Daddy. We still send the kids Valentine candy. Steven and Andrea were married Feb 1, and their first "fight" was over her Daddy Valentine's Candy. Seems she put it in the refrigerator, and he viewed it as community property, while she was emphatic that it said "TO ANDREA from Daddy."
This year I made sure to send Tiffany a king cake in Alaska. She loves those things for some reason.
To all my Valentines, both near and far, have a good one! And Vivian, I love you more than GREASY GOPHER GRAVY with a side of Grits!!!
One wall held a giant bulletin board from when the church school downsized and had leftovers. I still remember the year Andrea made that bulletin board an undersea world. She made it an aquarium, complete with a taped tour describing the many "creatures" we saw.
I made sure Daddy remembered to stop and get Valentine candy for each of his valentines and bring it home. We made pretty cards for Daddy. We still send the kids Valentine candy. Steven and Andrea were married Feb 1, and their first "fight" was over her Daddy Valentine's Candy. Seems she put it in the refrigerator, and he viewed it as community property, while she was emphatic that it said "TO ANDREA from Daddy."
This year I made sure to send Tiffany a king cake in Alaska. She loves those things for some reason.
To all my Valentines, both near and far, have a good one! And Vivian, I love you more than GREASY GOPHER GRAVY with a side of Grits!!!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Sibling Rivalry
Over the breakfast table this morning, I shared with my husband the email round robin between Andrea, Tiffany, and me about those Heart Family dolls. I was keeping it quiet that I found 2 sets, but as you can see in the comment section below, Miss Tiffany started claiming the family as hers. She sent me 3 or 4 emails about how she was sure they were hers not Andrea's. So, I started collecting clues to figure out which was whose.
Andrea remembered her family all 4 came in one big box and that she stored them in the box. That solves that. They are still in their original box. Tiffany remembered hers had a hole in her hand because she lost her diamond ring. Check! The bath time set has the mom with a hole in her hand! But Tiffany remembers the clothes on Andrea's so vividly and says that must be hers! This has me thinking she probably "borrowed" those clothes, which knowing how protective Andrea had to be of her things with 4 younger siblings, probably was one of the "fights" that led to their dividing the room in half when they were younger!! Of course my ever enterprising oldest child could have sold her sister those clothes since she did make money selling stuff she no longer wanted in "garage sales" to her siblings! Hrmmm!!!!
Well, Big Mama has decided, ladies! Andrea gets the set in church clothes for Vivi. Tiff gets the bath time dolls with all the extra babies. I am not sure if I will give Tiff the nursery set and Andrea the school set or split both sets between you!
Your dad was laughing over the whole email discussion punctuated with the "That's mine!"s. He says who knows what else belonging to the 2 of you he has hidden in the attic! Hehe for your next "Buy Nothing Christmas" you may get a picture of some childhood treasure long forgotten with clues to find it!!!
Andrea remembered her family all 4 came in one big box and that she stored them in the box. That solves that. They are still in their original box. Tiffany remembered hers had a hole in her hand because she lost her diamond ring. Check! The bath time set has the mom with a hole in her hand! But Tiffany remembers the clothes on Andrea's so vividly and says that must be hers! This has me thinking she probably "borrowed" those clothes, which knowing how protective Andrea had to be of her things with 4 younger siblings, probably was one of the "fights" that led to their dividing the room in half when they were younger!! Of course my ever enterprising oldest child could have sold her sister those clothes since she did make money selling stuff she no longer wanted in "garage sales" to her siblings! Hrmmm!!!!
Well, Big Mama has decided, ladies! Andrea gets the set in church clothes for Vivi. Tiff gets the bath time dolls with all the extra babies. I am not sure if I will give Tiff the nursery set and Andrea the school set or split both sets between you!
Your dad was laughing over the whole email discussion punctuated with the "That's mine!"s. He says who knows what else belonging to the 2 of you he has hidden in the attic! Hehe for your next "Buy Nothing Christmas" you may get a picture of some childhood treasure long forgotten with clues to find it!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Joys of Raising a Strong Willed Child
What a marvelous invention the internet is! We can use it to research just about anything; I think google has made it into the dictionary! We can shop online, order our pizzas, medicine, groceries, snapshots, you name it. We can use the telephone through it, instant message friends a world away, renew old friendships, make new friendships, and even video teleconference. There is music, movies, games, virtual cards and flowers, and so much more. Today I shall use it to do something Moms have been doing since the days of Eve: embarrass my oldest child!!
I was thinking of Andrea's struggles the other day as she was growing up with chemical sensitivities. Back then I caught Dr. Lendon Smith on the Donahue Show as he talked about children with a "low stress threshold," and looked at the baby in my arms and knew my first child was such a child. I found the book _Improving Your Child's Behavior Chemistry_ and read every word, adapting things in the household to promote a place of peace for my little one.
Dr. Smith listed some things they found to be common in children with a "low stress threshold," such as (only listing the ones applicable to our situation here):
~Born after a high risk pregnancy (I had severe toxemia)
~Premature birth or birth before 38 weeks (They ruptured my membranes at 37 weeks because I was already in labor and to hasten her birth before complications of pre-eclampsia escalated)
~Cord around neck at birth (It was wrapped so tightly they had to unwrap it after delivery of her head to deliver her shoulders)
~Extremely fair skin, blue eyes,blonde hair: Andrea was born with a "cotton top" of blonde hair (evidently this is unusual and the nurses would ask where I hid the peroxide as most blonde children are born with darker hair that falls out and grows back in blonde. She is still a natural blonde at 30 years old. Her skin was translucent at birth, and she is still very fair. She has our blue eyes.)
According to Dr. Smith, these things are insults to an infant's nervous system, so they are born ill-equipped to deal with the stimuli around them. Most parents in that day had a brightly colored nursery with lots of auditory and visual stimuli, which I did, and these things are painful for such children. It was bizarre in that we could get her to sleep but putting her in her room in her crib, she would immediately begin screaming. We quickly learned the only way she (and us) would get any rest was to allow her to sleep snuggled in her dad's armpit. During the day she would sleep in her carrier because it had sides that were closed in.
At one week of age, you could put her in the center of a bed with head and feet pointed at the floor and somewhow she would find her way to the floor. At 2 weeks she could roll over and over back to front and front to back. And cry? She constantly cried! When she was tiny, a visit to SC to relatives was punctuated with one very unhappy baby. My mother deduced that she was in pain from being held by so many different people and so much "excitement" around her. She took her in a quiet, dark room and rocked her 'til she quieted and finally slept. Visits to the mall or stores, even church, resulted in one screaming infant or toddler. She liked to be held but not tightly and not swaddled. She wanted to know there were close boundaries around her (like the carrier with the sides) and she wanted to smell Mom or Dad, but not be kissed or rubbed.
Andrea was the kid who went to church with the Tupperware cup of apple juice for snack time since she could not have the red koolaid so prevalent in the 80s Sunday School classes. She had homemade whole wheat honey cookies for her snack.
Out of all this, emerged a child with an astonishing strong will. Thinking about it the other day, I realized this is how she coped with the tricks her body was playing on her. She set her mind to survive her environment, to weather the storms inside her body, and to make it.
And she did!
Today, the beautiful, accomplished, talented, graceful, kind young lady is a woman of dignity and integrity and high principles. She sets her mind to something and look out! It will soon be done!
So in thinking more, I can testify if you are blessed with a strong willed child, you have the opportunity to raise this kind of adult. Your little strong willed person with your guidance can grow up to be a mighty arrow in the hand of a mighty God. These children can become the adults who will not waver or wishy washy in their loyalty and commitment to God, to home, to family, to community, to friends.
Further thinking, I decided that God had honored my prayers over the years to send my children enough suffering and trials to make them into pure gold. So my gleaming, golden haired child with the heart of gold, I love you as we approach your 30th birthday.
(Here you have proof I am your mom! I embarrassed you on the internet!!!!)
I was thinking of Andrea's struggles the other day as she was growing up with chemical sensitivities. Back then I caught Dr. Lendon Smith on the Donahue Show as he talked about children with a "low stress threshold," and looked at the baby in my arms and knew my first child was such a child. I found the book _Improving Your Child's Behavior Chemistry_ and read every word, adapting things in the household to promote a place of peace for my little one.
Dr. Smith listed some things they found to be common in children with a "low stress threshold," such as (only listing the ones applicable to our situation here):
~Born after a high risk pregnancy (I had severe toxemia)
~Premature birth or birth before 38 weeks (They ruptured my membranes at 37 weeks because I was already in labor and to hasten her birth before complications of pre-eclampsia escalated)
~Cord around neck at birth (It was wrapped so tightly they had to unwrap it after delivery of her head to deliver her shoulders)
~Extremely fair skin, blue eyes,blonde hair: Andrea was born with a "cotton top" of blonde hair (evidently this is unusual and the nurses would ask where I hid the peroxide as most blonde children are born with darker hair that falls out and grows back in blonde. She is still a natural blonde at 30 years old. Her skin was translucent at birth, and she is still very fair. She has our blue eyes.)
According to Dr. Smith, these things are insults to an infant's nervous system, so they are born ill-equipped to deal with the stimuli around them. Most parents in that day had a brightly colored nursery with lots of auditory and visual stimuli, which I did, and these things are painful for such children. It was bizarre in that we could get her to sleep but putting her in her room in her crib, she would immediately begin screaming. We quickly learned the only way she (and us) would get any rest was to allow her to sleep snuggled in her dad's armpit. During the day she would sleep in her carrier because it had sides that were closed in.
At one week of age, you could put her in the center of a bed with head and feet pointed at the floor and somewhow she would find her way to the floor. At 2 weeks she could roll over and over back to front and front to back. And cry? She constantly cried! When she was tiny, a visit to SC to relatives was punctuated with one very unhappy baby. My mother deduced that she was in pain from being held by so many different people and so much "excitement" around her. She took her in a quiet, dark room and rocked her 'til she quieted and finally slept. Visits to the mall or stores, even church, resulted in one screaming infant or toddler. She liked to be held but not tightly and not swaddled. She wanted to know there were close boundaries around her (like the carrier with the sides) and she wanted to smell Mom or Dad, but not be kissed or rubbed.
Andrea was the kid who went to church with the Tupperware cup of apple juice for snack time since she could not have the red koolaid so prevalent in the 80s Sunday School classes. She had homemade whole wheat honey cookies for her snack.
Out of all this, emerged a child with an astonishing strong will. Thinking about it the other day, I realized this is how she coped with the tricks her body was playing on her. She set her mind to survive her environment, to weather the storms inside her body, and to make it.
And she did!
Today, the beautiful, accomplished, talented, graceful, kind young lady is a woman of dignity and integrity and high principles. She sets her mind to something and look out! It will soon be done!
So in thinking more, I can testify if you are blessed with a strong willed child, you have the opportunity to raise this kind of adult. Your little strong willed person with your guidance can grow up to be a mighty arrow in the hand of a mighty God. These children can become the adults who will not waver or wishy washy in their loyalty and commitment to God, to home, to family, to community, to friends.
Further thinking, I decided that God had honored my prayers over the years to send my children enough suffering and trials to make them into pure gold. So my gleaming, golden haired child with the heart of gold, I love you as we approach your 30th birthday.
(Here you have proof I am your mom! I embarrassed you on the internet!!!!)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
My Sister's Keeper Finished
I finally finished this book, and I will not spoil it for those who wish to read it or to see the upcoming move from it. I was pleasantly surprised with the story. It did make me glad I know God in my life on a personal level. I cannot imagine having to face life's situations without Him!
There were a lot of issues raised in the book and most were left open for the reader to form his/her opinion. I was struck by the story of the eldest brother's acting out behaviors I think most of all. I know what it is like in a family to have one child with emergent medical needs and some of the sibling issues that come out of that.
I am still not sure how I feel about having a "designer baby" to save a sibling's life. I have no idea what I would do in that situation and am glad it never arose in my life. I do believe if any of my children could have donated blood or marrow or an organ to have helped my older son, they would have done so.
There were a lot of issues raised in the book and most were left open for the reader to form his/her opinion. I was struck by the story of the eldest brother's acting out behaviors I think most of all. I know what it is like in a family to have one child with emergent medical needs and some of the sibling issues that come out of that.
I am still not sure how I feel about having a "designer baby" to save a sibling's life. I have no idea what I would do in that situation and am glad it never arose in my life. I do believe if any of my children could have donated blood or marrow or an organ to have helped my older son, they would have done so.
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